Who’s In The Driver’s Seat?

Do you constantly find yourself overreacting to the minor hassles in life?

What is your response when someone cuts in line? When you’re in a hurry and stuck at a red light? When you get a call saying your appointment has been cancelled when your on your way there? Someone accidentally bumps into you?

Take time to really notice your reaction to these minor inconveniences.

There isn’t one of us that can claim that we never overreact. We all do from time to time, but there is a reason to notice when you do it and notice your reaction. Research has proven that accumulated daily hassles show stronger relationships with psychological and physical issues than major stressful episodes.

You read that right, how you are reacting to the small insignificant stuff has a bigger impact on your health than major stressful events in your life.

There are three key signs of overreaction: 

1. A sudden strong emotional reaction or outburst that is out of proportion to the situation
2. A realization afterward that the reaction was disproportionate to the situation
3. Regret or embarrassment because of your reaction

There are simple tips, techniques and tricks to dramatically reduce reactions to these situations. You do have the ability to prevent, recognize and control emotions it is part of your emotional intelligence. It is a matter of getting back in the driver’s seat.

One simple, yet powerful, method for changing these patterns is the mindfulness-based STOP Technique, a four-step mental checklist.

The idea of this method is by taking a brief pause, even for less than one minute, you give yourself time to shift out of the emotional part of your brain and into your brain’s thinking center. When you do this it allows you to gain perspective and determine the best action you can take in the moment.

The STOP Technique

STOP!

Interrupt your thoughts with the command ‘STOP!’ and pause whatever you’re doing. (If you wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it whenever you say STOP you reinforce the PAUSE behavior).

TAKE DEEP BREATH 

Notice your breathing for a few moments.

Breathe in slowly and deeply through the nose to the count of 5, expanding the belly, and exhale slowly through your mouth to the count of 5.

OBSERVE

Observe your thoughts, emotions and physical reactions.

What thoughts do you notice? What emotions are you feeling? Where in your body do you feel it? How does your body feel? Is your heart racing, are your fists clenching, your cheeks flushed, what thoughts are going through your mind?

PROCEED

Mindfully consider how you’d like to respond. Allow yourself to shift into your brain’s thinking center. Take a moment to assess the thoughts you’re having.

Overreaction often happens when you become overly absorbed with yourself, your emotions and especially your expectations.

You may notice thoughts along the lines of “why does this have to happen to me?” and “this isn’t fair!” Here lies the erroneous belief that you shouldn’t have to experience inconveniences like everyone else does (“should/must statements”).

You may realize you’re making assumptions or judgments about what someone else is thinking or feeling (“mind reading”), blaming yourself (“personalizing”), or engaging in other types of destructive thoughts  because in your response lies your growth and your freedom.

Could the best response be to remove yourself from the situation?

To allow your emotions to naturally defuse by taking a moment to focus on something else?

Prevention is key when it comes to overreacting emotionally. Notice if this situation is one of your common triggers, or what your triggers are and consider what you would like your response to be in the future so you are prepared when it happens.

Make sure you are grounding yourself, zipping up and getting in your coconut every single morning. This alone will really help you to be in the moment and less reactive. For further information, click here!